How to Win Your Life
Break subconscious blocks so you can accomplish anything
There’s nothing more aggravating than when one of your life patterns pops up out of nowhere and ruins the day, week, or month. You know, that one thing that seems to happen far too often.
Take Sally, for instance. Sally keeps finding herself being left by romantic partners. She’s done so much inner work and is a bombshell- she’d almost pay to date herself- but she keeps finding herself dumped when everything seems to be going great. Mr. Right always leaves out of the blue, and she’s left to eat Ben & Jerry’s alone on a Friday.
Sally’s father left her before Sally knew her own name. Her subconscious story is that people she loves always leave her, even if she did nothing wrong. The burn might always sting, but she doesn’t have to let it define her forever.
You subconscious only knows what you know. It has a great way of burying pieces of your identity so deep within that you might think you’ve moved past the trauma, but it still affects you.
Sally knows she’s a great partner, but her subconscious still hangs on to her identity of being abandoned, so it continues to serve her abandonment.
The events of your story can’t change, but how you identify with them can change. The first step to belief change-work is making peace with your story (and possibly people involved) and no longer feeling victimized. The second step is to re-frame the pieces of your story that no longer serve you.
Belief change-work is a tool that many life coaches use to transform their client’s identity to one that empowers and uplifts the client so that they can accomplish things that seemed impossible before. If you grew up thinking “money doesn’t grow on trees,” you probably assume money is hard to make and you’ll never be a millionaire. Transforming that belief can open you to a world of abundance. You can turn limiting beliefs into beliefs that bring limitless possibilities.
This is Sally’s re-framing:
My abandonment led me to be an independent badass who is always there for and loves me. Romantic partners are attracted to my strength and they love being around me. I receive the same love from others that I give to myself.
Set an intention around your re-frame. Sally intends that she no longer subconsciously invites in people who will leave her out of nowhere.
Maybe you’re always getting into minor accidents (and did as a child, too). A possible re-frame is that those accidents helped you become a warrior who can handle physical and mental pain, with the intention that your accidents have served their purpose and you now go weeks without cutting a finger during meal prep.
What is a piece of your story that still shows up unwanted today. How can you re-frame that story to make it more empowering? What intention will you set around your new frame of mind?